The
Cat's Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded,
must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt
to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must
try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors
with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly
hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable
of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such
a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies
and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant.
He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin
to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But
I can wait. It is only a matter of time.