Another Funny Joke from your hilarious joke source HumorConnect!
Rules
of Dieting
If
you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories
in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
(This rule also applies to mixed drinks. Example:
rum and diet coke)
When
you eat with someone else, calories don't count
if they eat more than you do.
When
you eat with someone else, your calories don't
count if they eat more than you do.
Calories
in food used for medicinal purposes NEVER
count. Examples: hot chocolate, brandy and
Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If
you fatten everyone else around you, then
you look thinner.
Movie
related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn,
Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls,
etc.) do not have additional calories
because everyone knows that movies aren't
real.
When
preparing food, things licked off spoons
and knives have no calories. Examples:
peanut butter on a knife when making
a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon when
making a sundae; cake frosting.
Broken
cookie pieces contain no fat. It leaks
out.
Foods
that are the the same color have
the same number of calories, Examples:
Spinach and pistachio ice cream;
mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note:
Chocolate is a universal color and
may be substituted for any other
food color.)
Calories
are a unit of heat. Therefore,
frozen foods have no calories.
Examples include ice cream, frozen
pies and Popsicles.
Wild
Card. Each dieter may add one
rule that pertains to their
particular, unique situation.
