Lucky
Charms

Don't cheat! Before you read on, choose your favorite
marshmallow bit from Lucky Charms from the list below:
Pink hearts, Yellow moons, Orange stars, Green clovers,
Blue diamonds, Purple horseshoes, Those icky oat bits
Okay. Have you got one in mind? Now you can read on. And
don't change it!
An amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms
marshmallow bit shape determines what you're like in bed!
Yes, it's true--just take this simple test to determine
your true bedroom personality:
GREEN CLOVERS: If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow
shape is the green clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type
in bed. You don't take anything too seriously in the bedroom
or elsewhere and always manage to have a good time, even
if you have someone else with you. You don't have any
patience with depressed people and tend to sit on them
until they cheer up.
BLUE DIAMONDS: If your favorite marshmallow shape
is the blue diamond, your thoughts in bed are mostly about
what you'll get later. "If he really enjoys this, will
he buy me that mink coat?" is probably what's going through
your mind. People who like blue diamonds have a notebook
of preprinted fill-in-the-blank palimony suit forms and
are the people most likely to file their nails while making
love.
ORANGE STARS: If your favorite shape is the orange
star, you expect to be the center of attention in bed.
You expect your partner to spend most of his time pleasing
you and when you do something for him, you expect enthusiastic
moaning if not applause. People who like orange stars
often have mirrors over their beds, not because they are
turned on by watching what is being done, but because
they want to be able to watch themselves having a good
time. They often moan out their own names while making
love.
PINK HEARTS: If you like pink hearts, you're the
romantic type. You like your partner to whisper romantic
phrases into your ear and, if he's too distracted to form
coherent phrases, you'll settle for romantic syllables.
People who like pink hearts read most of the romance novels
published and are turned on by people wearing armor.
PURPLE HORSESHOES: If purple horseshoes are your
thing, your tastes are modern, uninhibited, and somewhat
warped. You like variety in the bedroom, especially when
you can include handcuffs, chains, swingsets, and chocolate
pudding. Be careful when going out on a picnic with anyone
who likes purple horseshoes--she's/ he's likely to pin
you down with croquet hoops when you're not looking and
who knows what could happen next?
YELLOW MOONS: If you're the yellow moon type, you're
more interested in satisfying your partner's needs than
your own. You prefer to lie back and wait for your partner
to jump on you and express her/his needs verbally or nonverbally.
People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs
of handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in
case someone should ever want to tie them up and ravish
them. Keep your eyes open for anyone who eats all the
yellow moons out of her cereal as soon as she opens the
box.
Those little OAT BITS that aren't marshmallows
at all: If you prefer the little oat bits, you probably
don't like sex anyway and don't need to read this article.
People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants,
librarians who work at the reference desk, or government
employees; these people like to chow down on a big bowl
brimming with oat bits before a tough day of protesting
suggestive lyrics in rock music. People who like oat bits
have more time to spend writing letters to the editor
than any other type.
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