Help
for Internet Addiction

Hello.
Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end,
online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked
in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the
week it is?
Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member
who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics
Anonymous, we can help. We're a non-profit society of
recovering addicts like yourself that provides support
and counseling through weekly meetings designed to help
you cope with your problem.
We feature a twelve step recovery program and in extreme
cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that
you are never "cured," you most certainly can
recover.
We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you
are an addict. Do you: 1) Have twitches of the hand when
you walk by your terminal? 2) Check e-mail more than five
times a day? 3) Spend more time chatting than eating or
sleeping? 4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only
to be online? 5) Leave your name and information at countless
sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from
a company you'll never do business with anyway? 6) Log
on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation,
hygiene or bodily functions? 7) Have red, swollen eyes
that hang halfway out of your head? 8) Spend hours online
on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping
about your carpal tunnel syndrome? 9) See smoke rising
from your computer or WebTV box? 10) All of the above?
If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose
#10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics
Anonymous at: 1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORSWEETJESUSSAKE.
We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first
step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.
Call us today. If you can power off to free up your phone
line, that is.
Click here to send this funny joke to your friends!

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