The
Nose-Picking Glossary
The Kiddie Pick: When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly
twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike
joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time
limit!
Camouflaged Kiddie Pick: When, in the presence of other
people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust
it in deep and hold back the smile.
Fake Nose Scratch: When you make believe you've got an
itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray
boogers.
Making A Meal Out Of It: You do it so furiously, and for
so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.
Surprise Pickings: When a sneeze or laugh causes snot
to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully
clean it off your shirt.
Autopick: The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking.
NOTE: Someone is always looking.
Pick Your Brains: Done in private, this is the one where
your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.
Pick And Save: When you have to pick it quickly, just
when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot
so they don't catch on to what you did.
Pick And Roll: No explanation needed.
Pick And Flick: Ditto.
Pick And Stick: You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick,"
but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.
Paydirt: The kind where you remove a piece of snot so
big, it improves your breathing by 90%.
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