The
Old Dilapidated Boat

Joe
and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented
out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended
up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as
much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was
out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst
to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in
his absence.
When he got back on shore he went into town to pick
up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there
mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for
your loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell
no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was
a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was
all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish.
She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in
the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every
time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked
like crazy."
"I guess what finally finished her off was when
I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time.
I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she
smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools
tried to get in her all at one time and she split right
up the middle."
The old woman fainted.