Sesame
Street Bus Driver
Have you heard about the man who got the job driving
the bus for Sesame Street? He was really looking forward
to meeting all the Sesame St. characters, and so he
was filled with great anticipation his first day on
the job. As he stood outside the bus waiting for his
riders to begin to arrive, the first person he saw approaching
the bus was an *extremely* large woman. Before she boarded
the bus, he asked her her name. Huffing and puffing
from the exertion of walking, she replied, "My
name is Patty." "Well, Patty, climb on board.
We'll be leaving shortly." The next passenger,
a man just as big as the woman, was wearing a large
green suit. When asked his name by the new driver, he
replied with a noticeable accent, "My name is Patrick...I'm
Irish, you know. My friends all call me 'Patty'."
"Patty, meet Patty. You two can get to know each
other while I await several more passengers that I see
coming."

As the new driver stood there, he found himself thinking,
"Where are Bert and Ernie???" The next passenger
was a little retarded boy. "Hi, little boy. What's
your name?" "My name is Ross, and my parents
tell me I'm special." "Ross, I'm really glad
to have a nice boy like you ride on my bus today. Climb
on, and we'll leave in just a minute." The last
person to approach the bus was a really strange looking
man. "Hello, sir. What's your name?" In a
surly manner he answered, "My name is Lester Creep!"
For lack of anything better to say, he told him, "Lester,
we're about to leave so please have a seat."

Now the driver was really thinking, "I thought
I was going to meet Big Bird and Cookie Monster!!!"
As he was pulling away from the curb, he looked in his
rear view mirror. Much to his horror, he saw Lester
sitting there with his shoe off, picking at a bunion
or something on his big toe. "Oh, gross!"
he thought. "This is nothing like I thought it
would be! No Bert, no Ernie! Just a bunch of weirdos!!!"
He mulled it all over for a while, then suddenly he
began to smile. He thought to himself, "Who would
ever believe that, the first day on my new job I have
two obese Patties, special Ross, and Lester Creep pickin'
bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?!?!"